W.W.N.A.R.D

Saturday I had 2 back to back airbrush tattoo gigs. Yes, temporary airbrush tattoo artist is among one of the many odd jobs I've had throughout the years trying to make ends meet as a performer.

The first event was outside at a company picnic . . . during the Los Angeles heatwave and wildfires. It was a joyous experience: being outside in 114 degree heat and barely being able to breath through the smoke for 5 hours. Needless to say, I was exhausted by the end of the event, but I had to work another one that night. Luckily, this one was in doors.

I arrived at the event (a bat mitzvah) and noticed all the banquet staff was early 20's typical server types. (I can recognize this, since I was one. Now I'm a typical late 20's server type. There's a difference.) One of the young guys asked me if I needed help loading my stuff in. Maybe it's the feminist in me, or just the fact that I'm stubborn but I replied as I always do with, "No, that's okay! I'm used to it!"

As I lugged my equipment from the car to the banquet hall, I realized how ridiculously exhausted I was but now I've already refused help. So, I thought, "What would Niki and Rachel do?" Niki and Rachel are my girlfriends back home that I spent my early twenties with. We were the "blonde, brunette and redhead" inseparable trio. I never understood how they easily flipped the switch from bawdy, funny, strong woman to helpless, flirty sex kitten whenever they needed something or wanted to attract someone of the opposite sex. I have always been so matter of fact and sort of flirt-tarded that I wasn't able to master the ability. But I thought, what the hell, I'll never see these people again, might as well try it out.

So, I went into the restroom and took my hair down, tousled it a bit, touched up my make up and hiked up my boobs. I walked out and saw all the young guys over by the bar so I walked over and said, "So . . . you guys ready for an exciting night of mixing non-alcoholic drinks?" And I gave a little giggle, eyelash bat and smile. The next thing I knew, all of my equipment was being brought in, I was being offered drinks and food from the bar and was given a number to come by anytime and be on the guest list for the club. Apparently, embodying Niki and Rachel worked! Now if only I could use it to get my car lease paid off . . .