Friday, November 19, 2010


To the makers of the Garmin GPS system:

I have just purchased my second GPS system from your fine company, as my first Garmin was dropped so many times that the screen shattered beyond any real visibility. This was due to my incredible clumsiness and does not at all reflect the craftsmanship of your fine products.

I set my Garmin up today and chose "Australian" as the dialect for my directions, only to be utterly disappointed. Oh makers of Garmin . . . have you ever HEARD an Australian dialect? I'm no Aussie myself but I just basically lived with a slew of them and I can tell you that is NOT an Australian dialect. I suggest you go back to the drawing board (or the Golden Coast or Perth or SOMETHING). And while you are reworking the accent, I have some choice vocabulary you should really try out, if nothing more than to make me smile and miss my Aussie friends (ahem . . . I mean, "mates").

"There's heaps of traffic up ahead. Let's try a different route, hey?"

"Oi, missed that turn, didn't ya?"

"Nnnnyyyooooeeeerr, you are going the wrong way, mate."

"Your driving is ace."

"Are you keen to take the highway or the back roads?"

"Bloody construction! Let's reroute, yeah?"

Thanks so much! Oh, and if you need someone to do the voiceover for the new unit, I do a SPECTACULAR Aussie accent. Just ask any of my Aussie friends. They may say, "Nyoooerr," but don't believe 'em.


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