Friday, October 23, 2009

Oh Screaming Child of Asia

Del and I are in the Taipei airport in Thailand, exhausted, clinging to the only outlet we've been able to find. The past 18 hours have not been pleasant, NAY, they have been quite horrendous.

Everyone I know who has already gone to Singapore for Universal has posted things like, "Wow! That wasn't that bad! The flight was great!" I was setting myself up for that kind of experience, but that, unfortunately, seems like a myth.

Our flight from Orlando to Los Angeles wasn't that bad except that it took an extremely long time for Delta to decide whether our IPA work passes were "legitimate" or not. But when we arrived in LAX, things turned for the worst. We had to recheck-in and go through security again and the lines and crowds were incredible. Then, as we are waiting at the gate, I came face to face with the Satan-child that would soon have me thinking disgraceful things I never thought I could wish on a child. Literally the entire 2 hours of that layover were spent staring in disbelief at how a 2 year old could have that kind of energy at 1 am (4 am our time because we had gotten back on an east coast schedule.) Every person at the gate shared the look of fear that spoke, "I hope this child is not sitting by me."

Once we finally boarded, late of course, Del and I neared our row and I saw it. My greatest fear: Screaming Child of Asia. At first it was even really hard to hate him as much as I did because he honestly was really adorable at first glance. But my wish to fall into the seat on the plane and drift off to sleep was plucked from me immediately. Now, he didn't scream because he was upset, no, he just screamed, nonstop for hours, sometimes with a smile on his face. I brought earplugs: they did nothing, not when we were in such close proximity. In addition to sitting right near SCoA, the seats were smaller and closer together then a domestic flight. Del literally didn't fit. He had to put his legs out into the aisle and he looked miserable. I got maybe 3 hours sleep total between waking up to SCoA and the insane turbulence that lasted 6 hours. Oh yes, you read that correctly, 6 hours. And one hour of the turbulence was so bad that even Del looked at me like, "Oh shit." I was too busy hyperventilating with tears streaming down my face to respond.

We got to the airport in Taipei and when we found our way to the skytrain to take us to the terminal where our next flight would be, who was waiting for us but SCoA, now with no pants rolling around on the ground of the airport. Now I've been up for 24 hours, in airports and I can't help but imagine taking his lips to my sewing machine and running them through. I seriously have been imaging harming this child. What I should have been imaging was harming his parents, who literally ignored him through all of this. They let him scream, and lay on the airport floor, facedown, and didn't bat an eyelash. I know I'm a germaphobe but when you see other people with surgical masks on because they are fearing H1N1 it's hard to imagine why these two people decided to breed.

Okay, that's my rant :) Just wanted to keep this blog accurate and up to date now that we are on our journey! haha! And I promise I won't harm any children . . . but I can't help thinking about it.

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